you carry your demons well

 

 

 

 

 

So, I'm really proud to be able to finally post this comic (I was struggling to title it, and then just hadn't scanned the title page yet). Usually, I say that about posting comics that wind up in anthologies, or that a cool little printed version of this will be available at the next show I'm doing (which in this case is true), but this time it's for a completely different reason. For a very long time, I had (and somewhat still have) very strong feelings about things I did or didn't do, and the person I wasn't able to be and the one I shocked myself at being capable of becoming. It really started impeding on my life and my art, and this comic is kind of my way of laying it all to rest. I wanted to be clear about that, and be clear that in sharing it, I'm not trying to convince others that your guilt is always going to win out, don't let it; I just know we all have things we'd rather not have on our permanent record, and you're not alone. You can think everyone can can read it on your face, you think you're the worst thing that ever happened to someone (even yourself), you can think you're past doing any good, but you're not. Consider this a frog-blood-covered hand* to pull you out of the muck, because I swear, more people than you know have been there, and want to help you, so whether it's talking to a friend, seeking professional help, or drawing a comic, you deserve to help yourself up.

*super important note: I, in  no way, condone killing other people or animals for any reason. I am not a frog killer, it's an extended metaphor.

**less important note: I am not going to start turning my comics into some sort of quasi-sermon, promise. Still silly old me, who else could write this with St. Vincent's 'Surgeon' coming up on shuffle in the background and start giggling?

Squirrel

okay, so "squirrel" is one of those always looks like it's spelled wrong words. Also, not so fun fact, in the process of drawing this comic (been sitting on my desk for like 2 weeks) I actually had to host a squirrel funeral (this is the part where I tell you you need to be a)wearing protective gloves b) absolutely certain the squirrel is dead c)paying enough attention when crossing the street to retrieve the body so that you don't face the same fate as the squirrel...I had no mishaps related to these things, I just don't want someone to face inadvertent peril as a result of me suggesting that all sorts of creatures should have proper memorials)

happy holidays!

Okay, so the color looks really weird on the monitor I'm using but is printing normal, so I'm hoping it shows up not-fluorescent on your screen. It's my holiday card...or more precisely, the third draft of the holiday card my mom is sending out wherein I finally managed to eradicate all my sick sense of holiday humor. So have a nice whatever you celebrate, oh and check back here again before the end of the year..that's all I'm going to say for right now.

carded

So I sat down, blasted a stream of seemingly unrelated music, and had a mini-drawfest (yes, I know you can tell how cool I am based on how I spend my Friday nights..) but here are two cards I made, along new comic to be posted tomorrow!

inside: a TARDIS and reads "We're so proud of all the work you've done. Enjoy all the adventures in time and space that your new degree takes you"

inside reads: All monkeying around aside, you're the best dad/grandpa

Buongiorno Pipstrello!

So here's the children's book I made for my illustration class. It could only be 6 pages (plus cover, which is the first page, except the print version had the title in a horrendously clashing font color and the wrong name..as in my name..it's only ten letters folks, not that hard!) and no words. Enjoy!

COVER:Buongiorno Pipistrello by Tori Holder

warning sign (a pretty words post)

Just a lazy, dreamy on and off rain day in Florence, so here's something from le sketchpad that I never got around to posting. I left it really rough, I know, but I just really wanted to draw something with deer and cat interactions, as videos of it are pretty much my favorite internet thing, and by the time I figured out deer legs, I'd pretty much gone as far as I needed to go with it for right now. Not that I don't care, it just wasn't the same on paper as what I thought drawing it would be like. Still a nice one anyhow, no?

on its last tentacles.

and finally, the end of the octopus comic (see tag the melancholy octopus to view story from the beginning)

normal and neon

not much to say, just posting my latest silkscreen prints..

be patient with me..

I hadn't meant to spend so long without posting, but it isn't without justifiable cause. Last week I was fortunate enough to get some time off from my program and travel a little bit and see some lovely friends (picture post of that coming soon), but also, less lovely, my laptop seems to be either slowly dying or is just making a desperate plea for attention, but either way it looking like I'm going to have to either take in for repair or try to restore to square one myself when I get back to the states..and until then just bear with. I've been working on a lot of different projects though, some of which have sworn me to secrecy, but I can show you one little bit of something I'm working on for a course (remember when I posted about bats..well here's the next step in that saga).

From The Top-Secret Archives

So here's the next installment in a series I drew but never finished posting. As it's from awhile ago you can obviously get some sense of raw hastiness to spit out a whole idea at once just to have it on paper, I think these were actually meant to be cleaned up a bit and possibley even colored, but I like them in this rustic state, think it works well with the sentimentality of them. Fortunately/unfortunately I feel like as far as comics-work goes this site will be heftily supplemented with work I did in the past, lost, and then found when I was moving out of my old place, as making new comics is taking a lot longer than it normally does. Which I honestly think in retrospect will be for the best, because they are only taking so long because I have the next idea before the first one is finished, and also because I am experimenting with new techniques to create things that look more dynamic and in some cases, more accurate. So there are things coming just delayed. Also, this weekend was supposed to be my big work on comics-palooza and then Friday night my heater and hot water went out and did not get repaired until late Sunday afternoon. So my fingers were too numb from cold to draw anything. But I feel like it's going to make a good story. Which, really, is all I'm after.

The Melancholy Octopus, Part 3 (Parts 1 & 2, if you need to catch up):

illustrations 2 & 3

Okay so here's the other two in the dressed animals series. They're designed to be ipad wallpapers (that was the assignment, I just drew weird stuff not caring). So if you'd like, download and use as a wallpaper, and then tell me or send me a picture, so I can finally be at peace knowing it's been field-tested and really works as a wallpaper (okay, now I'm just being snarky..but really let me know if you use it). Oh and if you missed the first one, or the drawing the series is based on, more animal fun for you!

And one last thing...yes I am still doing comics. In fact, I'm so bombarded with material that I've just been sketching them out and then moving on to the next one before I lose the idea, but by Saturday I should have time to fully finish and post some that are in progress.

Illustration 1

Okay, this is the first in a three part series I did for a class project (the others are finished just not scanned in).Meet Sid the Zebra:

watercolor and china ink drawing

 If you really like him, stay tuned, because like I said, he has buddies, and also, I'm probably going to sell a lot of the stuff I make here for super cheap before I go just so I don't have to hassle getting it home.

snowfriend

So we had out first day of snow today, just a light bit of cloud confetti, nonetheless, I was ecstatic (don't believe me? proof ). Anyways, I returned home to see this little guy (whom I hastily dubbed Squirrely Squirrel) frolicking and snacking in the trees with a wee bit of snow on his wee lil nose!

just a little doodle before bed.

goodnight.

roar

So this is a little book-type thing I made in 2009 that I just had returned to me yesterday. It was for a creative writing course, and I had turned it in with my portfolio and apparently the professor had been cleaning up her office and found a lot of unreturned portfolios. So I thought I'd post it, just because while it's very rudimentary, it kind of was the last thing I did that lead me into really deciding that maybe making comics what what I really needed to do ...because I did shit like this all the time and then thought, "you know, if I put a little more effort into it, maybe this stuff could be something". Also, it folds out so that you don't see the next page until you're done with the page you're on and was made using all 100% post-consumer recycled materials (looking over the in class comments that were also in there, these seemed to be things people really liked that these pictures don't get across.

finger is kind of casting a shadow over the word "she" in case you couldn't read it